I didn’t notice
the sky,
like I usually do.

Too many other
things – Sensory

Police cars
parked haphazardly
lights still on, stained
the snow with color
like some bizarre
Christmas display.

If there was
an emergency,
it was far too late
for you.

Echoing static silence,
so loud it hurt my ears –
The sound of
a bottomless pit
called grief;
a tiny word
for such devouring

I knew,
as soon as I opened the door
on that bursting scream
of silence,
that no heroics
would bring you back.

to one, tight,
blue-lipped syllable:

Icy wind & crusted snow,
were witness
to your tears.

Pale stars coldly
oversaw your last
making sure
you tied the noose
with militant precision.

You stepped off
the antique church bench,
painted cheerful red
and printed so appropriately:
“The best journeys always
lead us home.”

And you went home
to meet your Father,
tears still on your cheeks;
blue eyes open to your future –
dressed in your best clothes.

You are a True Believer.
There was no doubt
in your mind
that you were going home.

Away from the burdens
of this world.
Into the arms
of a loving Father
who understands all
and forgives it –

a brother
who loves you enough
to die, already, for your sins.
We lost you
but gained an angel.

Missing you is like a knife,
cutting deeper every day.

It never goes away.

Audio Reading

  1. Mandy says:

    You are such a strong woman. I don’t know how you do it. That poem was amazing and also brought me to tears. Tyrel is such an awesome person. I always loved seeing that great smile and those dimples. I just found out by looking at your facebook that he had a baby. That is so wonderful! Congratulations! She’s beautiful! Keep your head up! You’ll see him again one day. I hope we all do! RIP Tyrel!
    Much love,
    Mandy Mortensen

    • Thanks, Mandy. Ty was, and I’m sure still is, an awesome guy. His baby is truly beautiful and Destiny is such a great mom. Ty couldn’t have chosen a better mommy for his baby. She looks just like him, right down to the faux-hawk 🙂 It sounds like you knew Ty. If so, I’m sure you already know what a wonderful person he was. Thanks for stopping by!

      • Mandy says:

        No doubt about that! He still IS an awesome person. I am so glad Destiny takes such good care of her. What an amazing piece of himself to leave behind. I see so much of him in her. Amazing. I did know Ty pretty well. Even kissed him once 😉 He was always so sweet and full of life! I’ve seen you a couple times at Black Jacks for the guys’ acoustic shows. I hope you are doing well. Have a Merry Christmas! You, your family and Ty are in my thoughts.

  2. bluebee says:

    So shocking and devastating for those left behind. bb

    • It is. I hadn’t realized how much of an impact it would have on my entire life and that of my whole family. I feel so bad for anyone who has to deal with it. Thanks for your comment 🙂

  3. Wow, not only am i impressed by the beautiful quality of your words but you touched me deeply and brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing. I wish I could give you a hug. ♥

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