Duplicity

I’m flattered to think I mattered
But your “Love” leaves me battered.
Little words, dropping clues,
Reveal the soul inside of you.
Red flags from your past,
break through my mind at last.
Almost the cripple that you’ve cast.

But in a moment of lightening bright,
I know that I’m alright.
Not a follower, I can lead.
My life a necklace, you just 1 bead.

Firmness of mind, decisions made,
Result from circumstances that I can’t aid.
I found my baby hanging dead,
My grief you dismiss as “out of my head”.

But shadows remind of who I am,
different from the me you hype;
I’m a survivor. You hate my type.
Life’s bill of goods makes me wrong or right
Hey, I won’t buy it anymore,
I’ll rise eternal from your floor.

The problems I have, I can solve,
The whirlwinds that hold me will dissolve,
Scarred, wiser, I’ll withstand the heat.
I’ll get back on my feet.

So don’t tell me that I’m wrong
Don’t sing me your sirens song.
I close this door and open hope.
I trust the Lord to help me cope.

Hate me or love me, just go away.
I sinking, but I’ll sink my way.

Comments
  1. Tanya Gooch says:

    Dear Ruth,

    Don’t know how well you remember me, but I remember you and your lovely children. I am so sorry for your great loss. You really are one of the best most loving moms I know. When I think of Ty I recall how proudly he held up his beautifully painted tiger-striped pinewood derby car. May you find a little solace. Love Tanya

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