I see the havoc body death brings,
Ones you love, ones you didn’t see loved you,
The pain is too hot to examine,
But it burns white hot, consuming all the same.
I realize body life must continue, duty demands it.
But spirit suicide goes unnoticed.
Tell them “Fine” when they ask,
But hopelessness drives you,
kill your bereft soul, no one will care.
You won’t come for me; you will shun me upon arrival,
I don’t blame you.
Truth I taught you, vaguely remembered through the haze of pain,
I grasp for the ‘iron rod’ that disappears into the proverbial ‘mists of darkness’
But this time there is no one holding tight to me, to anchor me.
I anchored you, you anchored me – as a team we faced down dark,
Where, oh God IS the pavilion that covers Thy face?
Where is the peace You give; not as the word giveth?
Holy Ghost gather me into thy bosom, preserve my faith, comfort, heal my soul, otherwise;
Let mortal earth judge me, condemn me, do their worst.
The existing pain I feel is already beyond comprehension
So keep me or let me go. Let the demons dance.
I’m soul weary, too tired, too, too tired.
An anorexic soul, starved of hope.
I forsake and obey, but I mattereth not.
One more soul out of millions.